At this time of year, love is in the air!
Well, it might not seem like that if you are single...
But trust me, just because you don’t have a significant other to love, love is still all around you – specifically in the forms of self-love and platonic love.
When single, we have all been subjected to the somewhat invasive questions from older family members, asking “How’s your love life?” or “Have you got a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?”
Successive questioning like this can reenforce the expectations that we all should either have a partner or be actively searching for one.
And when you either jokingly dismiss the question or reluctantly answer “no…” it instils a sense of doubt and even failure in yourself that you have been unsuccessful in fulfilling what is often conditioned to be a measurement of success and happiness.
If you are single when 14 February comes around, you can feel like a demoralised social pariah if you aren’t spending your evening having dinner in a restaurant with the person you love.
"Despite being single, there is a reason to love – and you are that reason"
Coming to university for many people is the first time in their lives where they are open to the idea of dating.
Your expectations are set in thinking that you will meet the love of your life, yet in reality, you likely fall into an emotionally draining cycle of re-downloading dating apps and going on first dates that never progress onto a second date.
University often develops a dating culture that can consume an individual’s perception of themselves based on needing the affirmation of external validation from love interests.
This is something that students can feel obligated to participate in.
However, what if I said that you can find success and happiness through self-love and platonic love for your friends that you meet at university?
In my first year of university, I made the conscious effort not to date, and in retrospect, it was the best thing I could do to grow as a person and cultivate lasting friendships.
“There is so much security to be gained from being your own support system.”
Don’t get me wrong, you may feel bored or that you are wasting your potential.
But it is important to create a mindset where you can receive enough love from yourself alone.
There is so much security to be gained from being your own support system.
When you accept self-love, every aspect of your life becomes enriched as those feelings of envy for people in relationships are dramatically reduced. You have exponentially more time to take care of yourself.
Part of coming to terms and accepting that it is both normal and okay to be single is understanding that there is no immediacy needed as to when you should have a partner.
So, what if you are single on Valentine’s Day?
It literally gives you the prime opportunity to have a Galentine’s with your friends instead.
I did Galentine’s last year, and I intend to replicate one of the most wholesome nights of my time at university all over again.
The list of activities is truly endless.
You could order a takeaway, participate in a rom-com movie marathon or hit the town together.
All without even taking a second to think about a love interest, as you are preoccupied enjoying yourself with some of your closest friends.
My friends and I decided to look back on our past romance and situationships in the humorous manner of presenting PowerPoint presentations about our dating history.
This was topped off in a very arts and crafts way by us painting wine glasses (which we now have in our second-year year house!).
Taking the time to repurpose a romance-focused Valentine’s Day celebration into a platonic-focused Galantine’s Day is one of the best ways to normalise being single, as you are sharing the night with people in the same dating situation and are spreading love without the requirement of needing a partner.
I firmly believe that there is someone out there for everyone and that it is a matter of being fortunate to meet them at the right time to progress to a relationship.
It is so important to remember that this is something you cannot control; it is down to fate.
This further justifies why you should not feel the need to get into a relationship.
From my own perspective, being single has been a blessing and has honestly only enhanced my university experience. I have been able to successfully channel my energy into gaining friendships that offer me a unique type of love and reassurance that a relationship couldn’t offer me.
Don’t be filled with dread as Valentine’s Day looms.
After all, at its core, it is a day about love, and love is something that can be expressed and experienced in so many wholesome ways, not limited to romantic love.
So, this Valentine’s Day, know that despite being single, there is a reason to love, and you are that reason.
By Callum, a second year Combined Honours and Student Content Creator